Hello kids. You know a hopeless fool when you see one. The guy whose mood is completely and utterly dictated by someone else. I won't give examples, but I'm sure everyone knows such a guy (or girl), the one who's 'in love - and is totally annoying everyone else with his constant yapping'. Love is stupidity, I always told myself and anyone who'd listen. Of course at the time I coined that phrase I was in a particularly foul and cynical mood (which is occuring a lot these days). No it's not PMS, no it's not because of my studies (god forbid), it's just...that.
The reason for my foul and cynical mood was pretty simple. I wasn't talking to someone then. I can't remember when exactly I coined that phrase but it had to be last year. Just a someone can make me so...uh, foul and cynical, I feel quite ashamed now that I think about it.
If I were to phrase everything I'd said thus far in a different way, it would be likened to an addiction. I've never taken drugs, nor have I ever smoked, but I'd imagine it feels similar, how all those druggies and smokers feel and go through. They go insane if they don't get their fix. And they simply can't help themselves. This I can understand, although if they actually had a bit of willpower they wouldn't get themselves into such a situation anyway.
I had no such luxury. Those few months last year felt like cold turkey but not for a day did I manage to break the addiction. And it's just as well that...to put it metaphorically, of course, I eventually got my fix later. But this 'fix' is short-lived and has to be fed, apparently, because I still go crazy after like 2-3 days.
Why am I using such a weird metaphor? Two reasons: I feel uncomfortable actually typing it out plainly so I had to wrap it in a metaphor. The other reason is that said metaphor seems to explain my situation pretty damn well. I suppose this isn't as bad as smoking or being addicted to drugs since...this isn't harmful, is it? I don't know, to be honest.
Cold turkey didn't work, distractor didn't work. For all my 'strong' will I've found it pretty feeble. Once again I feel pretty ashamed that I got wrapped up in all this. At the same time I'm thankful that a repeat of last year hasn't occured yet.
Stars, I'm going crazy.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
The reason for my foul and cynical mood was pretty simple. I wasn't talking to someone then. I can't remember when exactly I coined that phrase but it had to be last year. Just a someone can make me so...uh, foul and cynical, I feel quite ashamed now that I think about it.
If I were to phrase everything I'd said thus far in a different way, it would be likened to an addiction. I've never taken drugs, nor have I ever smoked, but I'd imagine it feels similar, how all those druggies and smokers feel and go through. They go insane if they don't get their fix. And they simply can't help themselves. This I can understand, although if they actually had a bit of willpower they wouldn't get themselves into such a situation anyway.
I had no such luxury. Those few months last year felt like cold turkey but not for a day did I manage to break the addiction. And it's just as well that...to put it metaphorically, of course, I eventually got my fix later. But this 'fix' is short-lived and has to be fed, apparently, because I still go crazy after like 2-3 days.
Why am I using such a weird metaphor? Two reasons: I feel uncomfortable actually typing it out plainly so I had to wrap it in a metaphor. The other reason is that said metaphor seems to explain my situation pretty damn well. I suppose this isn't as bad as smoking or being addicted to drugs since...this isn't harmful, is it? I don't know, to be honest.
Cold turkey didn't work, distractor didn't work. For all my 'strong' will I've found it pretty feeble. Once again I feel pretty ashamed that I got wrapped up in all this. At the same time I'm thankful that a repeat of last year hasn't occured yet.
Stars, I'm going crazy.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
posted by Goremeister at
10:27 PM
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