No Joke.

Hello stalkers. I'm back.

So yesterday wasn't much, everything began at night...went to Bugis to meet Les and Renyong, then bought CK's present. After buying a Zippo (encouraging him to smoke more, good one) they actually thought that it wasn't enough. Okay...they were thinking that they hadn't spent enough, but to be honest presents don't have to be expensive...what I was rather miffed about was that they didn't even buy me anything and they were saying right there, after already buying one present that they had to buy another one. In the end they didn't but still...I can't help but feel rather sad. Of course I know friendship isn't measured by material crap like this. Also I don't expect anything because I never do anything for anyone, so don't get it wrong, I'm NOT asking for presents. Besides, my birthday is over and it wasn't special at all. But the way my friends celebrate my birthday and celebrate others'...is totally different. Maybe because I couldn't actually be arsed about it, with my haphazard planning and all, not to mention they didn't get to go to the zoo because I didn't really want to, so my friends didn't bother to make it worthwhile for me.

It might be that I always have a facade I put on, that I can't be arsed about anything, just to make stuff easier for me in general. I don't know if people can actually see through it, or if they actually get fooled. Because I'm not the type to show my feelings in front of people.

So continuing on...we bought the liquor and headed over to Baldric's house. Drank a bottle of vodka (shared between 9-10 people...) and some people got drunk, yadda yadda...talked and slacked around. Men's talk, yeah.

Well, so I ended up cabbing home with Les and Renyong at about 2-plus. And it was lucky that I didn't go to sleep immediately because I had some business to attend to. I won't go into detail but...wishful thinking never had any positive effect on anyone. I was a victim of wishful thinking and UP TILL YESTERDAY, you can say I still had thoughts that were based on assumptions. I got rid of them today. If they come up again, I'll completely disregard them. It's all I can do to stop myself getting hurt.

Yeah I actually have feelings and I was being completely serious in this post, I just realised. Not in the style of my previous posts, I must admit...but I had a lot of stuff on my mind. Especially after the 4-hour chatting session, I realise just how much some people want to make others sad with them when they're down. Everyone knows you're feeling sad, but trying to make the other person sad too is just UNFAIR and SELFISH. If you really like this person then that's not something you should be doing, and more importantly RESPECT THEIR DECISIONS! My gawd, some people are just way over their heads. It really reflects on you poorly on a person and even if it's the third time this has happened to you, it's totally not their fault that they don't reciprocate...you can't force love, dammit. Being nice, sadly, isn't going to get you anywhere. Now I've learnt this, but I won't stop being (very) nice to people I care about, because I don't do it for an ulterior motive. In a way of course I hope something good will come out of it but if not, then it doesn't matter to me. Seeing the people I care about being unhappy and depressed is even worse for me.

And it is exactly this reason why...I cannot say anything.

Well, something more light-hearted, because...y'know, y so srs? I've always been the non-serious type.

There are songs that I like simply for the melody, and then there are songs I like for the lyrics. For most people lyrics are a very important element of a song, but it doesn't matter as much to me. That's why I can enjoy death metal, and it also applies to stuff like J-pop or K-pop since I don't understand much Korean or Japanese. Sometimes I'm interested in some of their lyrics because they can actually mean something. Korean songs are almost invariably about love (I haven't heard a song yet without the word 'sarang', which means 'love', in it), and they seem to have a knack for producing ballads because I really like Korean ballads. Tissues must really hold a lot of value to them because practically every drama is sad. I also like dance pop, though ironically I do not enjoy dancing or actually watching people dance. It's like how I can't really appreciate art in anything more than a superficial manner. Music's different, however, to me anyway. I rely a lot on my eyes, but for some reason they don't 'see' as much as others. And I'm not just talking about eyesight. I mean the ability to observe my surroundings and look out for things when I'm watching something. I don't seem to do it nearly as well as others can. Yet I have apparently-perfect vision. How ironic.

Heh. I suddenly remember that I once said I'd close this blog once I got a girlfriend. I think this blog will live until I die, at this rate. HAHA.